I am a big coward

It’s the second year I’m in High School. I changed school and met new classmates. I’ve always hated most of my old classmates partially because it seamed they hated me and partially because I couldn’t stand them. I had some friends but with the others I just pretended to be their friend. A week ago I left the class’ group on Whatsapp (one year and a half is enough: I wanted nothing to do with them) but then, a few days ago, I left another group when someone asked when we could meet. Right after I left, one of the few to be nice, texted me. I haven’t heard from her since last year and she started asking me things that she was supposed to asked me last year like “How are your new classmates?” or “How is your new class?” A little late uh? I really liked her and, before I knew my actual best friends we were very close and it hurts that now we don’t text each other unless something forces us. I don’t want a friendship to end like this, just fading slowly but now it’s too late. And even if our friendship faded quite an year ago it was painful to understand it all in once.

Years ago I wouldn’t just leave those groups because I was too scared of what people would think. But now I didi it (because I know that probably I will never see them again). But I really can’t tell them how they made me feel at school or that now I am changed and I am not the same persone that they knew. I (hope) am better but I, even so, I can’t tell people what I really think and this makes me feel helpless.

P. S. I’m thinking of doing one of the 30 days challenge but I’m still not sure

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